WHY ARE YOU YELLING?!!

We have a little cafe on the lobby floor of my eleven story office building. It is totally unremarkable and I frequent it only on busy days when I require sustenance, snub the canned goods lurking under my desk, and am too busy to leave the premises.

Last week I ran downstairs for a quick orange mango juice fix. Unfortunately, two women approximately my age prevented my easy access to the cooler. One woman was holding one of the cooler doors partially open with one hand, and grasping a bottle of water with the other. The other woman stood next to her, fully obstructing the other cooler door. The following conversation ensued.

MS. GRASPY: "I don't know how much it is."
MS. BLOCKY: "Do you know how much it is?"
MS. GRASPY: "Its a bottle of water."
MS. BLOCKY: "Did you bring enough money?"
MS. GRASPY: "I don't know how much it is."
MS. BLOCKY: "Does it say how much it is?"
MS. GRASPY: "Maybe I should get the bigger bottle."
MS. BLOCKY: "You should ask."
MS. GRASPY: "You should ask."
MS. BLOCKY: "Its a bottle of water."
MS. GRASPY: "I don't know how much it is."

pause

commence yelling

MS. BLOCKY: "HEY!! HEY YOU!! YOU!!"

Ms. Blocky grabs the bottle of water from Ms. Graspy and waves it in the direction of the employee at the cash register, located approximately ten steps away from Ms. Blocky.

MS. BLOCKY: "YOU!! HEY!!! HEY!!! HOW MUCH IS THIS?"

Employee makes eye contact with Ms. Blocky.

MS. BLOCKY: "HOW MUCH IS THIS? HELLO?!"

EMPLOYEE: "What is it?"

Ms. Blocky flails the bottle of water in the air.

MS. BLOCKY: "THIS!! THIS DRINK!! THIS DRINK HERE!!"

Flailing continues.

MS. GRASPY, helpfully: "ITS A BOTTLE OF WATER!"

EMPLOYEE: "Dollar seventy five."

MS. BLOCKY: "OH MY GOD!! NO, THIS IS JUST A BOTTLE OF WATER?! IT CAN'T COST THAT MUCH. HOW MUCH IS THIS?"

EMPLOYEE: "Dollar seventy five."

This exchange was followed by Ms. Blocky and Ms. Graspy bitching about how much the water cost for another minute, before they finally moved out of the way and bought the damn water. Although the total disregard for other customers who might want access to the cooler bothered me, and the rudeness bothered me, what REALLY pissed me off was the yelling. Seriously, the yelling. After much thought, I've developed a simple questionnaire to help you determine whether yelling is appropriate for your specific situation:

(1) Is someone in danger?

If you answer YES to this question, you are allowed to yell. Otherwise, shut your pie hole, walk your lazy ass over to the person with whom you wish to communicate, and converse at a normal volume level, you inconsiderate, disruptive jerk.