You cannot resist the kitteh belly!

Yes, I will admit it. Looking at lolcats makes me happy. I mean, seriously, how can this picture not make you smile?

Dr. Quinn, open heart surgeon

I'm sure you all saw the horror on television. Jane Seymour, her eyes a vacant stare as she paints a red heart with a thick brush, and then paints over it, again and again. The camera pans back out, and you see that she is surrounded by identical paintings, stacked on the table, hanging on the walls, strewn in disarray on the floor. What kind of sweatshop is this? Is this "The Shining," crazy lady style?

It turns out that this is a hapless attempt to hock Valentine's jewelry with some sort of fundraising thingum on the side. But, could this commercial be more poorly done?

She sits in a room, surrounded by copies of the same heart picture, and yet the entire voiceover and demeanor makes it seem as though she is thinking the design through and creating it for the first time. She then goes to Kay Jewelers to make a sales pitch to have them produce her freshly designed heart pattern as jewelry, but is actually wearing the finished necklace at the meeting. Wtf? Did anyone else get the oogies from this?

Insomnia

I had really bad insomnia the other night.

Let me clarify what "really bad" means. My typical night for the last few months or so involves tucking in around midnight, falling asleep, and waking up about 5-10 times a night. I never sleep through the entire night, and I invariably wake up tired and fighting to get out of bed in the morning. I am actually used to this, and while I realize that this is not an ideal sleep pattern, I feel a bit ambivalent about the elusiveness of that well-rested feeling.

Last night, I simply could not fall asleep. I was really quite tired and closing my eyes provided a cool, comforting feeling, but that was about it. One of my doctors told me that if I had insomnia, that I should do something to avoid just laying around feeling frustrated. I tried the computer, but I was completely unable to focus, so I put it away. Then I tried television. I started off with Animal Planet's "Dogs 101." I learned that the extra skin on a Sharpei is because they were bred as fighters, and having all those hapless creases ensures that the creature biting the dog would end up with a mouthfull of skin and not vital organs. I also learned that the Pharoah Hound physically blushes when it is happy, instead of wagging its tail. However, all of those adorable puppies failed to induce contented snoozetime.

Next I pulled out the backlog of "The Closer" on Tivo. Three episodes went down the hatch. While I got hit with waves of impending unconsciousness, sleep never came. I tossed in an episode of Psych, and an episode of House, and even caught part of "The Knife Show" and their watermelon knife collection (the mere existence of this show being blogworthy in and of itself). Nothing.

Hubby finally woke up around 7am and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Being awake." Finally, around 8am, I finally managed to drift off and catch a few hours of oblivion.

This kind of insomnia is brutal. My eyes hurt too much to keep open, but laying down is pointlessly frustrating because most of my body is begging for rest but some part of my brain refuses to comply. Its like the starving part of my brain meekly requests more sedating gruel, and is then punished relentlessly for asking. I waver between extreme agitation at my state of being, and ambivalence. I'm trying to accept things, but the whole concept is kind of elusive and nonsensical to me.

What do you guys do when you have insomnia? Anyone tried hot milk? Taking a bath? Give me your ideas!