24 February 2009

Dr. Quinn, open heart surgeon

I'm sure you all saw the horror on television. Jane Seymour, her eyes a vacant stare as she paints a red heart with a thick brush, and then paints over it, again and again. The camera pans back out, and you see that she is surrounded by identical paintings, stacked on the table, hanging on the walls, strewn in disarray on the floor. What kind of sweatshop is this? Is this "The Shining," crazy lady style?

It turns out that this is a hapless attempt to hock Valentine's jewelry with some sort of fundraising thingum on the side. But, could this commercial be more poorly done?

She sits in a room, surrounded by copies of the same heart picture, and yet the entire voiceover and demeanor makes it seem as though she is thinking the design through and creating it for the first time. She then goes to Kay Jewelers to make a sales pitch to have them produce her freshly designed heart pattern as jewelry, but is actually wearing the finished necklace at the meeting. Wtf? Did anyone else get the oogies from this?

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